The black box began to shift, and I felt the boundaries of my universe stretch and contort. Patterns emerged on its dark walls, shapes upon shapes, swimming into my perception like the constellations of some otherworldly night sky. Squares inside circles inside triangles, fractals unfolding in a chaotic ballet. My thoughts unfurled like spindles of an ever-expanding web, each thread weaving into the next, binding reason and delusion.

Ink flowed from my pen as if guided by some external force, drawing equations that twisted into incantations, sacred geometries that morphed into forbidden alchemy. I was unraveling the cosmic tapestry, thread by thread, line by line, idea by spiralling idea.

My hands moved of their own volition, inscribing complex matrices, diagrams that veered between the ordered precision of a golden ratio and the anarchic sprawl of a Jackson Pollock. Every stroke of ink that hit paper was a stab at understanding, a futile effort to capture the chimeric nature of my own existence. The act of creating and destroying went hand in hand, each a necessary counterpart to the other.

Mad Man Drawing
Mad Man Drawing
Buddhist Sketchbook - Nigredo Alchemy
Buddhist Sketchbook - Nigredo Alchemy

The walls whispered arcane languages, numbers seeped into my being like an esoteric script. Theorems combined with paradoxes, and axioms folded into conjectures. The Euclidean and non-Euclidean met in cataclysmic clashes, breaking and reforming the rules of logic and illogic alike.

I began to laugh, a chilling, manic sound that filled the shrinking chamber. In that laughter resided the realization that I had become both the architect and the captive of my reality—a two-dimensional man in a three-dimensional box, forever oscillating between enlightenment and madness.

Gone were the gods; they had left me to navigate this labyrinthine chaos alone. Or maybe they were the walls, the numbers, the grotesque shapes—just different faces of my multiplying delusions. I was so close to grasping it all, so agonizingly close, and yet that final revelation eluded me, slipping into the recesses of my unraveling mind.

Mad Man Standing
Mad Man Standing

As I continued to sketch, draw, and write, the walls seemed to close in further. The box became smaller, and yet, paradoxically, infinitely more complex. My universe was contracting, folding in on itself like a collapsing star, and I felt my sanity waver under the crushing gravity of it all.

The darkness began to swirl, a chaotic vortex that consumed all the shapes and numbers, tearing apart the very fabric of my constructed reality. Finally, it engulfed me, pulling me into a singularity of madness from which there was no escape, no comprehension—just the lingering sense of a puzzle forever unsolved.

Buddhist Sketchbook - Nigredo Alchemy
Buddhist Sketchbook - Nigredo Alchemy
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Small Man • Chapters

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